Sub-letters for the Insane

Angie, Theresa, Monica, Dan and I went to an appointment for a house for rent this morning at 11 o'clock. The house is currently being rented by a fraternity that needs to let part of it out. Our initial reaction was "ergh" but we figured we'd hope it was one of those nerdy frats and at least go see it. It was a misty-sunbeam fall morning and the house was an adorable yellow stucco with a tiny picket fence. We met the landlord out front and knocked on the door. It burst open to an over-weight, redhead with plastic glasses. This would not have been so bad but his hair was manically afro-ed, he had either drool or milk dried at the corners of his mouth and he was still chomping on something. He was highly incoherent but we understood that he had no idea of any appointment "because Nate hadn't told him." He then stood there helplessly and looked us up and down confused at what steps to take next. The landlord invited himself in to show us the house anyway, in spite of Nate and tubby red-head. We walked into the house (which really was very nice) and found two guys curled up on two tiny couches with the blankets thrown over their heads. Tubby plopped down in front of a huge projector screen on the wall and continued his video game. There were cats and kittens everywhere, the kitchen smelled of rotten milk and dried meat and the walls had what looked like food specks on them. The landlord led us to the basement which smelled of cat litter. (My overwhelming reaction was mostly the smell.) Dan was examining the door to our section, not really happy that it was hollow and therefore weak enough for me to punch through if I really wanted in. I walked into the laundry room and caught sight of a wad of matted fur in the corner and thought a cat had died there until I realized it was just a really nasty wig. Dan started laughing silently at this point. Angie looked at me and mouthed "No stinking way" or words to that effect, but she continued on with the tour because the landlord really was very nice. I was beginning to feel trapped, hemmed in by weird cats, rotten milk and smelly frat boys, thinking if this was a movie it'd be a horrible movie of the American Pie tradition or a slasher film with Tubby Afro Man as the killer. We were all fidgting to get out of there, because we were getting impatient and the smell was getting ranker by the second.
"So I'm not crazy about living with cats," Angie said as we stood on the front lawn.
"Well, there are only two," replied the landlord, visibly embarrassed about the shape of the house.
"They must have been moving really really fast then," I said. He gave me a pained look and I decided not to talk anymore.
At this point, a car dove up. Oh please no. Don't be Nate. A cute girl in oversized sunglasses and a goodlooking tall athletic guy with a tobbaggon hat, stubble and artsy glasses stepped out and toward us. His gait clearly said, "I am the shit." He joined the circle (cutting the girl he drove with out of the circle) and if I am not violently mistaken he then procceded to check all of us out...well, except Dan. He introduced himself as Noah and assured us that we should call him if we wanted anything so we "wouldn't have to go through this guy," and then gave us his number. Wow, oh wow. Can we please? Anyway, that was a horrid disappointment apartment searching-wise but it completely made my day. I mean, I hardly ever get a taste of regular college life. It's healthy to see what you're actually missing. Ave with all it's shit doesn't seem bad at all now. In fact I'd say it's a blessing.